"If I wanted a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life." -Jerry Seinfeld (from an unknown episode of Seinfeld).
If you haven't noticed, I haven't blogged in a while. A really long while. When I started this blog again I thought I would be able to slip back into my old ways and patterns. When I was in college (when I started this blog), I had so much more going on in my life. I had school, a much more social job, church, family, friends. Actually, I have everything on this list except for school. It's different now, though.
Without the fodder of school, my life has become increasingly dull to write about. No seriously.
I go to work. I go to the gym. I come home and eat dinner. Then it's either a movie, episodes of my latest binge watch on Netflix (or Smallville), or a book. Soon bedtime comes and I realize that nothing of great importance has occurred in my day. Now, not every day follows this exact pattern. Yesterday, for example, I went to Target with my roommates. That was a change.
It's like my life is stuck on this unending repeat cycle of sameness. Not that I'm complaining, per se. There is nothing wrong with my life. Except, deep inside, I feel a hidden part of myself clawing to get out. To do something crazy. To do something different. To make a change in my life. In my habits. In my personality.
I believe people can change. Sure, there are parts about us that tend to stay the same throughout our lives but ultimately, if you want to change, you can. Hopefully for the better. The problem is desiring to change and sticking with it. I think, I became a more outgoing person when I was forced to be a more outgoing person but there was always that part inside me that longed for the comfort and safety of being an introvert. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being an introvert. We need both extroverts and introverts to keep the scales balanced in life.
A balanced life. How does one go about getting one of those? How does one go about living a life worth blogging about? Maybe it's like Seinfeld, which was a show essentially about nothing. There were no big drama moments. The characters didn't change. The scenery didn't change. They just lived their lives like "normal" people. Maybe instead of expecting to have a blog about these major moments, I should focus on having a blog about the mundane. Because, isn't it true that most people live lives of the mundane and the mediocre? I'm not alone in my feelings, am I?
I started this post based around that quote from Seinfeld because I felt it summed up my feelings about my life at the moment, except for I know there is a point or a purpose to my life. I've just yet to fully discover it.
And I guess that's okay. It's in the baby steps of life that lead us to our ultimate destination. Whatever that may be.
So, here we are. I've babbled my way through 8 paragraphs to ultimately say that I want to start blogging again. It's not about my writing being read so much as me writing. That's what has been missing from my life. I don't care if this post gets read because it's not about you, it's about me.
Until Next Time,
The Hopeless Romantic