Thursday, December 31, 2009

The Schizo Lady

The other day at work I had  a rather.. disconcerting experience. I've worked at Maceys for just over two years and in that time I've had plenty of odd... guests come through. But this lady was probably one of the weirdest and most disturbing I've ever had come through my line.
First off... she rejected the offer of a bagger, more specifically a MALE bagger. I wasn't terribly worried. At first. She asked where canned chicken was. I told her, expecting her to run and grab it or at the least demand that a bagger go grab it for her. But she didn't. Then the weird stuff started to happen. She would randomly hand me and item to scan. And sometimes she wouldn't release it. I could tell that something mental was wrong but what was I supposed to do? I kept scanning.
She asked me for water.
"Bottled water?" I asked her, completely caught off guard. What was I supposed to be? Her waitress? I tried not to look annoyed.
"Will you get me some water?" She asked again as she handed me an item for me to scan.
I was unsure what to do. "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're trying to-"
"Scan that!" She demanded pushing some sour cream into my hand.
"Do you have a girl bagger?" She asked me. I looked around to find that the one remaing female bagger had just gotten off. What luck.
"There aren't. I'll just bag for you." I quickly bagged some items before she could interupt with some kind of weird request.
Just as I was bagging, one of my supervisor came up to help bag. The lady insisted that he try to help me. He asked what I needed help with. I just shook my head and said I didn't need help. The lady was adamant that I needed help. He went to the end of the checkstand to start bagging. She freaked out! I ended up bagging the entire order for her as she insisted on the strangest things being bag together. And then, just when I thought it was over, she wanted her canned chicken. I tried to send my supervisor to go get it but the lady freaked out! She insisted, again, that I be the one to grab her Swanson brand canned chicken. I was starting to get freaked out. But I complied. While I got the chicken, my supervisor came down the aisle to... assist me, much to the ignorance of the psycho lady.
As I finished her order, a male guest went through the line behind me and she started to babble about how he was a boy. I was seriously freaked out. I just tried to make it through. She was CRAZY!
After she left I was reeling from the freaky experience. How does one deal with the mentally disturbed? I found out shortly thereafter that she'd been in several times before and acted similarly. It was freaky.
So, that's my exciting story about the psycho Schizo lady who came through my line a few days ago.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

'Tis the season... to be perpetually annoyed.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a rather cynical people hater. Although I don't always hate people, I do get annoyed pretty easily. So... bring on the holidays. For someone like me... well the holidays are pretty much the worst times of the year. It's not because I'm a scrooge or that I hate holidays. The biggest reason, I have to admit, is that people drive me NUTS!
I worked today and it was INSANE! I swear everyone and their dog was in the store today. And they all had huge orders. I don't want to judge, being a procrastinator myself, but seriously people! We spend over a month and a half getting ready and spending so much time and effort for ONE DAY! I wish we could just simplify things. Christmas had gotten so commercialized and so crazy. All you have time for is to be stressed and then it's over in a matter of hours so all the time spent being stressed was for naught.
I didn't mean to go off on a tangent, my main purpose for this entry is to just vent about how people can drive a semi-sane person to go completely mental.
No, I don't know the price of strawberries. No, I don't know why they raised the prices of the oranges from yesterday. Or why you didn't get them the six times you were in here between tuesday and thursday. And no, I'm not happy to be spending a good portion of my time catering to you and your schizophrenia at work instead of being at home with my family. (Sigh)It's the cynic in me.
Happy holidays... whatever you celebrate... just to be PC. Ah, crap. What kind of Fulgham cares about being PC? Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Two things learned in 2009

So, it's not quite the end of the year yet, but I cannot help but start reminenscing early. This has been quite the year. Actually... I don't really remember much about it. I have learned two things for sure from 2009.
1) Don't crush on co-workers. No matter how nice their hair is or how amazing their arms are or how pretty their eyes are. It is usually just... awkward. Especially when you're me. And when the crush is over it's funny because then you wonder what you were thinking- even as you're checking him out still. Bad news. So... stay away from crushes on coworkers. 
D) Don't put twinkies on your pizza. It's just doesn't taste good.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009


Anyone who knows me, knows that one of my all time favorite shows is "Bones". Starring David Boreanaz (A hottie with a naughty body if there ever was one) and Emily Deschanel, along with an awesome supporting cast (in my opinion anyway).
I was first introduced to "Bones" by my old roommate a couple of years ago. And I loved it almost immediately. There was a combination of action, fact, and romance that just drew me in. I loved David Boreanaz back when he played Angel. If you don't know what "Angel" is, well, let's just say it's the show that made vampires hot. Angel was around long before the Cullens came into and made vampires into pale, glittering, gay looking creatures. Angel was dark, handsome, and brooding. A vampire with a soul. I was obsessed in middle school. Of course, the show went to pot eventually. But in the beginning it was... (sigh)... the best!
Okay, back to the topic at hand. Bones. The show is based upon author, Kathy Reich's books about a Forensic Anthropologist, Temperance Brennan, who ends up helping police solve murders in Canada and the east coast. I have read a couple of the books, and no offense to the author, but they're rather boring. They are written from the view of a scientist, thus they lean more towards all things scientifical.
 I started writing this post a couple of days ago and I just lost motivation to continue, so here I am finishing it.
I think the main thing I wanted to focus on when talking about "Bones" is that intense relationship between the two main characters, Booth and Brennan. Although nothing terribly romantic has happened (yet) the relationship between the partners is one that is fraught with sexual tension. It's like the audience, or maybe just me, is totally aware of how attracted and how perfect the couple would be together, in a romantic sense. But the characters are totally oblivious to this... well until this season that is....
 There is this moment of hesitancy for me, concerning the show. Being the intense romantic that I am I desperately want the pair to end up together, now if possible. But the realist in me knows that if this is to happen... well the show will be over shortly after. No one wants to watch a show where the characters are all content and at peace in their lives. It just isn't interesting, unfortunately. So... this brings me to my internal debate: Should Booth and Brennan end up together in the romantic sense or do I want the show to last a couple more season? Hmm... that's a hard one.
  Either way I will watch the show until it ends and I will enjoy every second of it. And not just because Seeley Booth is hot. It's a good show and I like the idea of solving crime! (Or so I tell myself)
And just so you know: Booth looks really good in a three-piece suit.
That is all.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

New Moon

 Robert Pattison is rather ugly. Especially with his shirt off. I would have rather used my imagination than to actually see it first hand. Blech. I never did see Twilight in theaters. And I vowed to never watch the movie but I ended up watching it one Sunday night with my family. And it was horrible. The camera angles were weird and the actors were... mediocre. I'd never read the books and based on the movie, I swore I wouldn't. But then the summer came... and I was bored. I read all four novels within a two week period. And I liked them. Well at least the first two. So when my friend Michelle suggested we go see the movie, New Moon, when it came to theaters, I agreed.
 We went last night to see New Moon. I enjoyed it, I will admit. And Jacob Black won me over rather quickly. Maybe it's because Taylor Lautner is so much more good looking than pale, sickly, gay looking Robert Pattison.
  The moment Taylor Lautner took off his shirt there was clapping and cheers from the audience. I never realized that people could be so weird. I have always avoided opening nights for movies such as Twilight and Harry Potter. Big crowds aren't my thing. This movie was actually well done. At least compared to the first one.
  Now, to the most important thing about the movie... hot guy running around shirtless. He was totally ripped. And he had arms that... well put most other arms to shame. And you know how I am about arms... Well this actor has worked very hard to get arms (and other body parts) to be so well defined and muscular. It was well worth the $7.50 I paid to see the movie. Not to say that I consider guys to be pieces of meat... but I sure do enjoy looking at them.
 So, in the books I root for Edward, even though Bella is a twit and doesn't really deserve him. And in the movies I will root for Jacob, because Edward is a gay sissy who needs to not be so ugly.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Randomly being random...

It's sad when you find one of the best pair of arms connected to someone much too young for you. Or good hair on someone you just don't want to be attracted to. I have come to the inevitable conclusion that hot guys make me happy. Something about their eye candyness makes me giddy.
Perhaps it's not so good that I treat guys like pieces of meat. But seriously, what else do I have at this point of my life? I figure it's not a bad thing because it's mostly in my head or with my friends who know me. Maybe I'm not thinking right. Oh well.
I spent most of my shift at work today checking out guys... mostly the ones I work with. So sue me. I enjoyed it and it made work go by just a little faster.
Basically all I wanted to say was that I enjoy arms. The kind with the ripply muscles and the veins... dang... I'm almost drooling. Not good.
I better go now.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Going courtin'

I hate it when people, especially from my parent's ward, come up to me and ask me if I'm dating anyone. I swear, I'd love to just kick them in the shin. It's none of their beeswax! Besides, it rubs in the fact that 1) I don't have a boyfriend, B) I don't date, and 7)  boys just don't seem to like me. Thanks for taking the time to remind me of my pitiful excuse of a social life. Who decided it was their business to know whether there were "wedding bells" ringing in my future?

On to the actual dating issue... I feel really uncomfortable on dates. It's like I have to be someone else, just to make a good impression. I'm not saying that being on your best behavior is bad, I just don't care for the formality of it all. I'm the kind of girl who would rather hang out a few times before actually going out on a date. I'd be more comfortable if the person has actually seen me, in my element.

Now I know that dating is a good thing. But I swear, it is one of the most awkward practices in modern western culture. Or maybe that's just me? I just never feel sure of myself when it comes to going on a date. What does he expect? How should I act?

And then there's the hugging. Who came up with the inane idea that there should be a goodbye hug? Why can't we just shake hands and call it good? At least on a first or second date. After that a hug should just come naturally. I am not a hugger by nature. I have to feel really comfortable with a person before I feel like I can hug them freely.

In my opinion, I'd be totally okay with an arranges marriage. Okay... so perhaps I wouldn't be. But sometimes I think it'd be nice to not have the ever pestering pressure to date. Maybe this dating thing is just intensified due to the location of the setting. Northern Utah is definitely a place that puts a high emphasis on dating and more importantly marriage.

Can't a girl have a break?

Maybe my whole problem with this is... I'm socially inept...

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


 I am a wuss. I am a coward. I am chicken. I am so afraid of the consequences that may or may not occur because of something I might do, that I end up not doing it. It makes for a rather unadventureous life. Heck, an uninteresting life. I avoid situations that could potentially lead me to leave my comfort zone. To leave my safe place.
  I love Taylor Swift. I really hate that they don't put her song "Fearless" on the radio. It's such a great song and I have gotten inspiration from it more than once. I wish I were fearless. Truly fearless. I am often envious of those people who can do things I only imagine doing.
 I am afraid to show people what I'm really thinking. I am afraid of failure. Of not being good enough. I have all these fears rolling around inside me. One time, just once, I'd love to be truly fearless. But I fear I am too much of a wimp. I think too much. I stress too much about what could happen. What should happen. It is both a blessing and a curse. I'm a voice of reason. Sometimes.
 I have my adventures and I am fearless through the books I read and the movies I watch. I am fearless through my own writing. The heroine has all the characteristics I don't. Being fearless, being strong, being able to state what's on her mind.
 Jumping off a bridge into the frigid Logan River in the middle of the night in November. Finally touching his arm. A first kiss. A simple conversation. Eye contact with someone cute. Dancing on the way home from school. Singing at work.
It's really quite simple. Yet it is the hardest thing to do sometimes, being fearless.

Fearless lyrics
There's somethin' 'bout the way the street looks when it's just rained
There's a glow off the pavement, you walk me to the car
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there
In the middle of the parking lot, yeah

We're drivin' down the road, I wonder if you know
I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now
But you're just so cool, run your hands through your hair
Absent-mindedly makin' me want you

And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless

So baby drive slow 'til we run out of road
In this one horse town, I wanna stay right here
In this passenger seat, you put your eyes on me
In this moment, now capture it, remember it

'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless

Well, you stood there with me in the doorway
My hands shake, I'm not usually this way
But you pull me in and I'm a little more brave
It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin'
It's fearless

'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless

'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Somehow matchmaking became the name of the game...

I can't think of anything profound or interesting to write today. I'm trying to kill time. Why? I have know idea. But that's what I'm doing so here I am. Writing a completely meaningless entry that no one wants to read.
Heck I don't even want to read it.

I think I'm going to try my hand at matchmaking, but perhaps that is too... invasive. I don't have luck with guys so maybe someone else does. I have come to the conclusion that I am doomed to walk the planet alone forever... like the Incredible hulk. (Name that movie.) Okay, so that's a little dramatic, but seriously. I am naive in the ways of boy/girl relationships. I have no experience. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. But sometimes it is increadibly annoying when I get asked the perpetually invasive question "Are you dating anyone?" I'm sorry but that's incredibly not their business! And it just seems to rub in the fact that I am 100% incredibly SINGLE. Thanks for that little reminder. So... enough about me and my relationship status...

That was a tangent. I just feel that instead of wasting my efforts on guys who don't want anything to do with me... I'll waste my time getting other girls dates... hopefully.

Boys have a tendency to be dumb... but then again so do girls. We're all just stupid and completely clueless. Yet, we still try and make something happen. Even when it's not supposed.

So... Matchmaking... hmm...

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

"There are two things I remember about my childhood... I just don't remember it being this orange."

Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a movie quoter. Take last night for example. My roommates can testify to the fact that I was quoting Little Rascals all night as I colored in my Sesame Street Halloween coloring book. It's something that my family, meaning Mom and Logan, have fun doing. We try to see if we know the obscure quotes from random movies. It's tons of fun for me. Mostly because I am quite the movie aficionado. I love movies. I got that from Dad.

My favorite movie to quote from: While You Were Sleeping. Perhaps it's because I have seen it many, many, many times. And I can quote the entire thing whilst viewing it. If you want me to be quied during While You Were Sleeping, don't watch it with me.

There are many movies that I enjoy quoting. Return to Me, Hitch, Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, Little Rascals, so on and so forth. They aren't even the most used quotes either. It's the random ones that are the most fun to quote. Especially when people have no idea what you're talking about. Of course, this can lead to them thinking you're weird. Which can both positively and negatively affect their perception of you.

So, in conclusion, I like quoting movies. "I had to eat six boxes of cracker jacks to find it."

"Kevin's not here." (That's for you Kevin, I'll have to try and work you into one of my posts more effectively another time.)


"Next time you talk to yourself, tell yourself you're single and end the conversation."

Sunday, October 25, 2009


I am eloping. When the time comes that is. I don't want to deal with the stress and expense of trying to plan and execute the reception. It's too much work for something that is so exhausting for the bride, groom, and their families.

Last night, I got to sit by the guest book. Do you know how many people don't thoroughly read the announcements to get the correct names of the newly weds? There were several envelopes with my brother's middle name used as his last name. And they spelled the bride's name wrong as well. One thing I have to say, make sure you read the announcement before writing the name on the envelope.

Pretty much, I am a romantic about everything... but weddings. As my cousin Andy told me, I'm like Bella.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Childhood Crushes

I can't help but think back on the days of my childhood. Ah, the memories. The toys I played with, the friends I made, the food I ate... the boys I crushed on? The boys I crushed on... I can remember my first big crush.
Alex Korth. He was a blonde, beautiful blue eyes, and he was a complete hunk. At least to my 5 year old heart. But, something that my little girl eyes never noticed... Alex was cross eyed! I never even realized that I had been in love with a cross eyed boy for two years, from kindergarten to the second grade.
We wrote hate notes to each other. Of coure... I didn't hate him. I was, in fact, desperately in like with him. Of course, as with all crushes, you're never in love with the real person. You are more attracted to what you think the real person is. They usually are never like you have imagined them to be. Dang it! It's the curse of having an imagination, I swear.
Alex ended up moving before the third grade, and my fickle heart moved on. And I have had many, many crushes since then. But I don't think I'll ever forget my first real cross-eyed crush. Hmm... I wonder what ever happened to him. I'm pretty sure he didn't like me back. They almost never do.
What is up with that anyway? You like someone and they just are too dumb to like you back. Uh... I probably shouldn't open that can of worms at this time. Maybe next time.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Poor, pitiful me...

I swear, this has been the worst week I've had in a long time. I barely made it out alive on Monday and I swear I practically fell asleep at work. And then I totally spaced submitting a final paper for a group project. Whoops! Thank goodness the professor was so understanding when I begged her to accept the late paper on behalf of my group. She is now my favorite.
I dropped my phone into the toilet... before I flushed... that was gross. Even worse, the phone doesn't really work now. I'm phoneless for a couple of days. And it was a cool one too! Dang it! But I have to admit that it's been kind of nice not having to worry about text conversations and checking the time. And missing those calls from work asking if I can come in at the last moment. Yeah, that is nice.
And now... I'm in the middle of a paper that I should have written a long time ago that's due tomorrow. Why am I such a procrastinator?! Gaa! It's about halfway done, but I couldn't concentrate anymore. Guess that means I'm going to be pulling a late night after work to finish it. Anyone want to finish my paper on Yeats and Wordsworth?
.... Didn't think so?
Do the professor get together and determine what the best way to drive us students insane? Let's give them all tests and papers due at the same time, while they're trying to work and have some semblence of a life at the same time. It's a CONSPIRACY, I tell you!
(Sigh) Well enough of my whining. I do feel better writing it down though. Funny how that works.

Sunday, October 11, 2009


I miss that feeling that I get when I have a crush on a cute guy. You know that feeling I'm talking about. That tingly, nervous feeling. When you can't decide if you're more excited to see him or more nervous. I have an intense love/hate relationship with that feeling. I love the tingles and excitement but I despise the nervousness that comes with it.

I'm shy enough as it is. I don't need more stuff making it hard for me to form complete and understandable sentences. It's a curse, I swear. How I can't hardly talk when I see an attractive guy... or how I say the DUMBEST stuff and he's just staring at me like I'm a complete weirdo. Ugg! I have no problem talking to guys I don't feel particularly attracted too... actually I do. At first anyway.

But the tingles and random smiles that come with crushing... man I love it! And you have to try and hide your random smiling or else people will think you're crazy... So great! Why can't that feeling be more prevalent than the nervousness? I'd be okay with that.

Because, I'm trying to get over a... fizzled out... crush, I am resorted to running to my books. My good ol' sappy books where the men can be trusted to deliver that tingly feeling and I don't even have to deal with the nervousness! I love that about reading. I can be there, without being there. It's a pretty decent substitution to a real life crush. Not the same but close enough for now.

Now... I just need to find someone who can give me those tingles again... Preferably an actual guy as opposed to my plethora of fiction men...

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Fiction, better than real life. For now.

I have a secret. Well, to my family it's not. And to my truly close friends it's not either. So, it's not a secret so much as it is an obsession. I have a weakness for reading. Particularly books of a... well... a romantical nature. I have a favorite author and her books... just make me tingle.
Of course, reading these "romance" novels have totally turned my brain to mush. But I love it! There is something about reading about handsome men who aren't afraid to spark and flirt with a girl that makes me giddy. And yes, I did just say "spark". My faith in real life men has been severely shattered by these seriously unrealistic but what the heck!
Fiction, at this point, is better than real life.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Butter Sliding Down Hot Toast

You know that line in "Confessions of a Shopaholic" when the main character, Rebecca, is talking about when you see a cute guy and your heart feels like "Butter sliding down hot toast"? She was actually referring to stores because of her shopaholic-ism. But I enjoy the line so much, I'm going to use it to refer to guys. Because I like guys.
I am a people watcher, meaning I watch guys too. Oh boy do I watch guys. In the last four or five months, I have gotten so bad at just checking guys out, I feel rather shameful sometimes. And you know what I check out... their ARMS!
Arms... what can I say about arms? I thoroughly enjoy looking at a good pair of arms. And not even just biceps, but forearms. I'm a total sucker for forearms. They don't need to big or even totally muscular. It's the definition that gets me... oh... even, oddly enough, the veins... wow... I think I'm going to make a fool of myself. And when the guy is wearing a nice dress shirt with the shirt sleeves rolled up to just below his elbows... Be still my heart.
To tie it all together, I just wanted to point out that a pair of good arms makes my heart feel like butter sliding down hot toast. Especially when they're connected to an attractive guy, with pretty eyes and a good sense of humor. It's not all about the physical aspect, but it doesn't hurt, you know.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Hello blogging world

After much consideration I have decided to join the world of blogging. I found Facebook was just not enough for me. I want to say more than my "status" can contain. So here I am, on a rare free Tuesday, starting a blog. I don't know what exactly I want to say or write. This first entry I think I'll just write whatever I feel like.
In three weeks, I'll gain a new sister-in-law, who not only shares my last name, but my first as well. That will be quite an adjustment. It is one I'm willing to make. She is great and my brother is completely besotted. I have been blessed already with an awesome sister-in-law and I can't wait to add another to my... collection.
For years, after learning about my lack of sisters and my abundance of brothers, people have sympathized "with" me because I never had the joy of sisterhood. Well, I laugh at them now. Here is my chance to get a sister that I didn't have to grow up with. Sure my knowledge of how girls are is stilted and my understanding of boy-girl relationships is rather... unsteady, but I have an advantage. A chance to create those sisterly bonds without the drama, issues, and any other crap that comes with sisters. I find it rather ideal.
So, I've run out of things I want to say now. But I feel this is a good start. Hopefully, as I go on with this, I will be able to write things that are, perhaps more interesting for others to read. Although I don't really care if you read this. It's mostly a release for me. So... if you keep reading... good for you, but I won't take it personally if you stop. After all, keeping a blog is a rather narcissistic thing to do. And if you don't know what "narcissistic" means... LOOK IT UP!