Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Going courtin'

I hate it when people, especially from my parent's ward, come up to me and ask me if I'm dating anyone. I swear, I'd love to just kick them in the shin. It's none of their beeswax! Besides, it rubs in the fact that 1) I don't have a boyfriend, B) I don't date, and 7)  boys just don't seem to like me. Thanks for taking the time to remind me of my pitiful excuse of a social life. Who decided it was their business to know whether there were "wedding bells" ringing in my future?

On to the actual dating issue... I feel really uncomfortable on dates. It's like I have to be someone else, just to make a good impression. I'm not saying that being on your best behavior is bad, I just don't care for the formality of it all. I'm the kind of girl who would rather hang out a few times before actually going out on a date. I'd be more comfortable if the person has actually seen me, in my element.

Now I know that dating is a good thing. But I swear, it is one of the most awkward practices in modern western culture. Or maybe that's just me? I just never feel sure of myself when it comes to going on a date. What does he expect? How should I act?

And then there's the hugging. Who came up with the inane idea that there should be a goodbye hug? Why can't we just shake hands and call it good? At least on a first or second date. After that a hug should just come naturally. I am not a hugger by nature. I have to feel really comfortable with a person before I feel like I can hug them freely.

In my opinion, I'd be totally okay with an arranges marriage. Okay... so perhaps I wouldn't be. But sometimes I think it'd be nice to not have the ever pestering pressure to date. Maybe this dating thing is just intensified due to the location of the setting. Northern Utah is definitely a place that puts a high emphasis on dating and more importantly marriage.

Can't a girl have a break?

Maybe my whole problem with this is... I'm socially inept...


  1. Just be patient, these things take time. You are still really young so I don't think you need to worry just yet. I was well into my mid twenties before I started to get really comfortable on dates. The best dates are when you instantly connect with the person, and you feel totally free and at ease. If you haven't had any like this yet, just wait and eventually you will.
    The trick is to be patient and practice going on dates when you can. You need to focus on becoming the best possible version of yourself, and guys will notice that. As you are comfortable with yourself, you won't have to try and be someone else in order to impress some guy. Eventually someone who likes you will ask you out, and you will like them back, and things just work out.
    And don't tell yourself that no guys like you, I'm pretty confident that there are lots of guys who like you; after all, you are really hot! ;)

  2. Nikki- you are not socially inept...unlike Dr. Phil up top.

    You are young, you will figure it out. Whatever you do, don't overthink it like some people.. Afterall, you are hot remember (gag)

  3. I love this :) Whenever people ask me how my love life is (married people, I mean), I just always want to ask something like, "How's your sex life?" I just seems SO private? I'm not butting my nose into other people's romantic/sex life! As if!