This post is really about/dedicated to my awesome friend, Michelle (whom I have mentioned many times on this blog). We were discussing the very attractive prince on Mirror Mirror (which we both loved! Because it's a movie that appeals to girls like us... girls who still have a 12 year old girl trapped inside us.) :) Mirror Mirror is the kind of movie that gets poor reviews from the general population but for me, I love it. And I plan on purchasing it someday.
Anyway, not the point. Back to Michelle. We were talking about hot guys and Michelle piped up, "I want to marry a hot guy, but not because I'm shallow." Of course, whenever you say something like that, it seems kind of shallow but Michelle is not shallow! However, we all have our shallow parts... the shallow end leads to the deep end in the pool right?
In Utah, being a 26 year old woman and unmarried leads your married friends and your family to pity you. As you get older and remain single, the more pity you get. In normal Utah Mormon culture, many girls are married by the time they hit 21. (This is a very general statement- obviously this is not the case for everyone but it certainly feels very true.)
So the older you are, the less likely it is for a relatively normal Mormon girl to meet a relatively normal Mormon boy. The boys your age tend to marry girls younger than you. And for some boys, there's a reason they're not married. If you get my meaning. (Psycho!)
Okay, so here's Michelle's reason for wanting to marry a hot guy. And it's not just so she has the right to ogle him anytime. (That would be awesome and less awkward than getting caught mid-ogle by some guy you don't know.) It's a little about vindication. For example, if you marry someone who has a personality but not necessarily "the looks" then people cluck their tongues and shake their head. "Poor girl, she settled because she got married when she was old." (This is not true and in both my defense and Michelle's defense we're not saying that looks are everything... this is purely hypothetical.)
But if you marry an attractive guy with a personality, then it's sort of like "Look at me, I got married at 27 and a half and my husband is hot! You don't have to get married when you're a 19 year old co-ed. And you don't have to settle."
There you go. That's the why Michelle wants to marry a hot guy. I know that this whole post seems a little shallow. But honestly, if you're a Mormon girl over the age 21 and not planning on a mission, you get a lot of flak about why you're not married, why you don't have boyfriend, why you aren't going on a mission, blah blah blah. Then you get pity because of your single-ness.
We're all allowed to have that part inside us who wants to show people that we're not hopeless, "sweet spirits" that need to be set up on blind dates or join dating websites because we don't have a husband yet. Sometimes, we have something else in store for us before we get married or maybe that guy is busy at the moment. Sometimes, we just need to be patient and not give up hope. You're not a freak or hopeless just because you're not married a 21.
Okay, I hope that those who read this post don't find offense in anything written. It's not supposed to be offensive or shallow or make me and Michelle seem like we're ditzes who just want a hot guy (not opposed to the idea of a hot guy but looks aren't everything).
So, I hope it isn't taken negatively. It's just the thoughts of a single girl living in a world where getting married is everything.
Until Next Time,
The Hopeless Romantic
This is a wonderful post :)
ReplyDeleteSo I'm almost 30 and still single...that means there is something wrong with me, right?
ReplyDeleteJust kidding.
But seriously, I'm not kidding.
But that logic is a two way street, most girls that are older and still single...well, there is a reason for that too.
Dating in Utah when you are old is tough. I've realized in my old age that if you want to marry a hottie, that also is intelligent, and has a good personality...good luck. And by "good luck" I mean, you'd better snag one up while you are both still young. Otherwise, you get to choose from the "reject pile".
Not really though...
;)
It's funny though, coz I always think western people seem to get married late.. :)
ReplyDelete