I miss that feeling that I get when I have a crush on a cute guy. You know that feeling I'm talking about. That tingly, nervous feeling. When you can't decide if you're more excited to see him or more nervous. I have an intense love/hate relationship with that feeling. I love the tingles and excitement but I despise the nervousness that comes with it.
I'm shy enough as it is. I don't need more stuff making it hard for me to form complete and understandable sentences. It's a curse, I swear. How I can't hardly talk when I see an attractive guy... or how I say the DUMBEST stuff and he's just staring at me like I'm a complete weirdo. Ugg! I have no problem talking to guys I don't feel particularly attracted too... actually I do. At first anyway.
But the tingles and random smiles that come with crushing... man I love it! And you have to try and hide your random smiling or else people will think you're crazy... So great! Why can't that feeling be more prevalent than the nervousness? I'd be okay with that.
Because, I'm trying to get over a... fizzled out... crush, I am resorted to running to my books. My good ol' sappy books where the men can be trusted to deliver that tingly feeling and I don't even have to deal with the nervousness! I love that about reading. I can be there, without being there. It's a pretty decent substitution to a real life crush. Not the same but close enough for now.
Now... I just need to find someone who can give me those tingles again... Preferably an actual guy as opposed to my plethora of fiction men...