Saturday, October 30, 2010

I have confidence in confidence alone!

If you're an awesome person, you can see Maria, from The Sound of Music, running down the dirt street just outside the Von Trapp house with her guitar and carpet bag. She's belting this song out in an attempt to build up her courage. It's a very poignant moment if you ask me. I mean, here is this young almost-nun out of the abbey for the first time to take care of seven young children. She young and scared. (I totally know how she feels.) By the way, if you didn't have this scene pop up in your head then maybe you're not that awesome of a person...  Just something to think about.

Okay, despite the title, I really don't have confidence. These last couple of weeks I've had several people tell me that I need to have confidence in myself. Well here it is: I don't have confidence in myself. I struggle to ever pretend that  I have confidence. I mean, how does one go about gaining confidence anyway.

My mom (who is awesome and wonderful and smarter than she thinks) told me, after I had a minor melt down over a new technical writing job, that I should have confidence in myself and my writing skill. In the midst of my breakdown, which in comes in the form of tears and sobbing and messiness, I admitted that I don't have confidence. She told me that I got that from her. Uh, I didn't know lacking confidence was hereditary but okay, whatev. 

I never realized how scary real life is. And how hard it is. I have this project and I just can't seem to make any headway on it. I don't know if it's the subject matter or the actually requirements but it is really hard for me. I try to focus and do what I need to but it doesn't seem to be effective. Maybe, in school, I've gotten so used to just sliding by and now I don't know how to do real, good work. 

Maybe I'm just not that great of a writer. See? I think I'm the one that makes me not have confidence. I second guess everything that I do. I second guess what other people might think or say. I second guess life. Thus, the lack of confidence.

How do I make it in the real world? How do I be an adult? How do I get rid of this sinking feeling in my gut every time I work on this project? Anyone have any answers for me?


  1. Finding confidence is probably the hardest thing you will have to do. When I started my new job I didn't have much confidence and there are even days that I still don't have much confidence. Its probably my biggest battle. What I have learned is to believe in myself and my confidence will come. Just remember we all have different skills and talents. If we didn't think how boring this world would be. You have your own skills and talents that others don't and that is what makes you you. Believe in yourself and your confidence will come. I hope this makes sense :)

  2. I have struggled with confidence before too. I think there are several things which have helped me. First, realize that you are just like everyone else. Everybody struggles with one thing or another, and some situations are just difficult no matter who you are. Second, focus on developing and improving your skill, knowledge on a subject, ability, etc. When you have a level of expertise behind what you are doing, that will give you some degree of confidence. The last thing is the most difficult of all. You have to become accustomed to being outside of your comfort zone. When you do this, then you can have confidence that you can perform well in difficult, or uncertain situations.
    The example from my personal life is with dating. I used to get so nervous asking someone out, and the dates themselves were nerve-wracking. I decided that I wanted to get more comfortable with dating. I realized that everyone goes out on dates, and that it is a normal thing, so when I ask someone out it isn't as if I were asking for something strange or unexpected. Learning to remember names, and figuring out how to meet people(not necessarily girls I am interested in) was a huge help in boosting my confidence. Making the initial contact, or getting the guts to talk to a girl was the hardest part for me. Now that I find it easy to meet people, asking girls out is easy. Finally, just by going on dates, meeting people, going to parties where I don't know anyone, having church callings, getting jobs, attending school, and traveling; have all taken me out of my comfort zone in one way or another, and I've learned that it isn't so bad.
    Really you just have to get out there and do whatever it is that scares you. Expect a few bumps along the way, but know that as you do, things will improve.