Thursday, December 9, 2010

Tales from an Invisible Girl

I helped my mom write her Christmas card letter tonight. She went through the kids and listed what they accomplished or did this last year. My sentence said something to the effect of "...has two jobs and has one more year of school." Okay, Mom was a little more eloquent than that but I really did only have one sentence saying what I had done. I looked over my siblings paragraphs. (Yeah, they had paragraphs.) There were houses bought and graduations that took place. Things were done. Lives were lived.

And then there was me.

Just school and work. No major accomplishments. No activities that happened in the past year. Nothing. And Mom tried. She tried to make me more exciting. She tried to shine a light on me. She even asked me for something more to add. What do I have to add? Nothing. I'm the girl who had nothing to add to my one sentence in the family Christmas card letter.

I'm the invisible girl. The girl squished into family pictures between her two younger brothers. The girl who doesn't have a boyfriend. The girl who doesn't have a social agenda. The girl who.... is invisible. Normally, I don't feel so bad when I think about my life. But tonight, I'm feeling more thoughtful. More pensive.

I know I'm truly not invisible. I have a family who loves me I have some great friends who love me. I have... people who would miss me if I was on "Without a Trace" or if my bones were found in a tree. I'm loved. I'm cared for. I'm in the family pictures. I see my family regularly. I express my love for them. We tease and joke and talk.

But tonight I feel invisible....