Friday, April 1, 2011

Confession of a Klutz

First let me just say this: I rank April Fool's Day up with Groundhog's Day, St. Patrick's Day, and Arbor Day. It's a bogus holiday. Thankfully though, there is no candy or cards or junk like that to sell or to see floating around. No hats or tee shirts or gaudy necklaces. Yeah, I know... I'm a party pooper. So sue me.

Whew. Now that I have that off my chest let me get on to the real reason I'm writing.

So yesterday, I was walking around campus on my way to class or whatever. It must have been the day that the local campus ROTC had their uniform day, I'm not really sure what it is and I'm too lazy to research it. That means that there were guys in uniform walking all over campus... and you know how much I like a man in uniform. (Let me take a moment to cool myself from the excitement of it all.)

Well, I was walking to class and there was this pretty attractive guy in a pair of Army fatigues. (Be still my heart!) And I ogled him as I passed, trying to be all cool and discreet about it. He had broad shoulders and I could tell that he worked out. It's a shame I couldn't ogle his arms. (Mm... arms.) He didn't glance at me, which is probably a good thing, because I may have had drool running down my chin.

So I passed him on the sidewalk and so distracted was I that... I tripped and fell on my face- well not literally. I actually just fell down onto my hands and knees. As you may expect, my face was burning with a bright blush. I cleared my throat and pushed all my weight to my knees and then stood. I bent down to brush the dirt from the knees of my jeans when a strong hand touched my elbow. I glanced over to see the attractive Army guy standing next to me, all hot and masculine in his fatigues.

"Are you okay?" He asks me in a positively manly voice.

I nervously giggle. "Yeah," I glance down at my now scraped palms. "Just bein' a klutz."

"Hey, you're bleeding." He grabs my wrist and studies my palm intently.

"It's nothing," I mutter, feeling my stomach flip flop at his nearness. 

"We should get this cleaned up. We don't want it to get infected." He looks up at me and I notice his clear blue eyes.

"Oh, well I can just go to the bathroom-" I motion to the building we are standing next to.

"No, we're going to get a first aid kit." He still has a hold of my wrist as he pulls me into the building. At the first office we come to, he asks the receptionist if they have a first aid kit. The receptionist seems wary but pulls one out anyway.

Mr. Army guy sits me down in a chair and crouches in front of me. He proceeds to clean up my palms and slather them with neosporin and bandages the worst of it.

"There! All better." He sits back on his heels and grins up at me. He has really good teeth. I would know, I'm notice teeth.

In an attempt to be witty, I dramatically place my hand over my heart and mumble, "How can I ever repay you?"

Mr. Army guy laughs as he stands up. He packs up the first aid kit and hands it back to the receptionist. I stand up too, and sling my backpack over my shoulders.

"No, seriously," I begin. "Thanks for helping me out. Not very many people would ask how I was after tripping."

"All in a day's work." Mr. Army guy smiles, holding the office door open for me. "By the way,"

I turn to look at him in the hallway.

"what's your name?" he asks.

My heart skips a beat. "It's Nicole. What's yours?"

"I'm Ryan."

I hold out a hand for him to shake. "It's nice to meet you Ryan."

He shakes my hand, being gentle with the injuries. "Nice to meet you Nicole."

We stand for a moment, our hands at our sides.

"Well, I better get to class." I motion with my head.

"Yeah, I'm going to be late as it is."

"Thanks again for saving my life." I grin at him.

"It's always a pleasure to help a pretty girl out." He smiles back at me, the corners of his clear blue eyes crinkling,  as he waves and turns in the opposite direction.

I stand there and watch him walk away. Ryan the Army guy with his broad shoulders and his fatigues. Possibly becoming the man of my dreams in that very moment...


So did you believe any of that?

Because I made it up in my head. It's my version of an April Fool's joke. Sure, it may not have been funny for you but it sure was fun for me. I broke my own rule regarding April Fool's jokes. But I gave myself permission so I'm okay with it. :)

Happy April Fool's Day!! (And yes, I still consider it a bogus holiday!)

Until Next Time,

The Hopeless Romantic


  1. I can't believe you would make something like that up!!!!! :) It was great by the way!

  2. I can totally believe it. I don't understand why everyone gets so upset about these things! A couple of Jordan's cousins are gonna kill me for saying I'm pregnant! (I'm not...sorry lol). Except I'm not really sorry either.
    That was a fabulous story. And I did believe it. Up about until the dialogue started. But you did have me going! And then I knew there's no way you'd be that brave talking to a guy. Not yet anyway :) haha. Love the story! Happy April Fool's Day

  3. What! That was all made up?! Dang! I was all excited the whole time I was reading it...
    It was a good read though.