Lately, I've been considering my singleness. I'm not unhappy or anything. I'm quite content about my 'relationship' status actually. It's only very rarely that I sort of get a twinge in my chest that signals my aloneness. Especially when many people around me are married, getting married, dating, and having babies. It can start to get to you, you know.
So I sit here and wonder what I'm doing wrong. Why doesn't anybody want to marry me and have babies with me? (As I type this a horrible feeling fills my chest- I'm SO NOT READY for that yet.) I have a very good friend, we'll call her Jane D. No, no... J. Doe. J. Doe is pretty old fashioned when it comes to love and romance. Anyway, she really liked this guy but he was a little shy and although he was nice to her and talked to her, he never made a move. J. Doe was to the point that she was getting bolder and trying to get him to realize that she was interested when she moved. Her interactions with this guy were practically cut off... but there was a new guy. (This isn't meant to show that J. Doe was fickle or anything- because she's not.) She knew that she had to go a little faster with this new guy because the last time she liked a guy she (or he) took too long. Well things were starting to progress rather nicely (and a lot quicker than the last time) with the new guy and he seemed to have an interested in her when J. Doe moved again. Two guys and neither one had made a move.
I was talking to J. Doe about this and I finally stated that our thinking (yes, I include myself) was too old fashioned for these modern times. We expect the guy to do all the work. That's not going to happen. That's not realistic.
I'm not claiming to be an expert on guys because I'm not. But I have come to notice that they aren't exactly the bravest... no, the most confident when it comes to girls. Not unless the girl has shown an equal interest in him. Life is not a romance novel, despite the fact that often times I wish it was. Love is a battlefield (ha ha ha).
We're all relatively equal now. Us girls, can't go on expecting that guys are going to see us and suddenly call us up and ask us out. It rarely works like that. It's time to get over our old fashioned mindsets and start giving the guy a clue.
Unfortunately, I know that there are many times when you like someone who just isn't interested. Yeah, it stings but you'll get over it and live. Life is too short and too fast paced to spend your entire time afraid to crack some eggs. Life is messy.
(Whew) Okay, I just had to get that off my chest. It was a rather sudden epiphany that I received the other day and I just needed to share it. It's going to be tough but I'm going to try and get the who old fashioned 'the guy calls the shots and has to pursue me' mindset out of my head. It's time to modernize.
Oh and by the way, this doesn't mean the the guy doesn't have to do anything. He has to be doing his part too. It's an equal opportunity sort of thing. A careful balance must be met and old fashioned romance... is pretty much obsolete. But don't fret. There is still romance out there... it's just different than what we've seen in the novels and movies of our youth. You are strong! Heartache to heartache you stand. Love is a battlefield.
Until Next Time,
The Hopeless Romantic
E. Bennett. No, no, Elizabeth B.! haa ha ha.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the old fashioned mentality you describe is dead at all. Guys still ask girls out and girls still get asked out by guys. That's the way it still is. What is missing from your equation are the green lights. Every single person on the planet is scared of rejection in one way or another. A guy isn't going to ask a girl out unless he has a reasonable level of confidence that his invitation will be accepted. Girls have the responsibility to give them signals or "green lights" letting them know that they are clear to proceed.
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