I've always wanted to be a sophisticated person. Often times, I stare at those I deem sophisticated in envy. You know the girls who have an air of confidence and beauty about them. They're so sophisticated and confident that no matter what they wear they look good and you gaze after them wishing you had that same confidence and sophistication.
I'm not a sophisticated person by nature. In fact, I'm quite a dork. I'm a low-maintenance person. I'm not very confident either. I just don't think I'm worth it. That's not to say that I have a low self-esteem. Confidence and self-esteem are very different in my book. I like myself. I'm... okay with myself. I don't mind being dorky... when I'm at home. But when I go out and about... I want people to look at me and think that I'm confident and that I'm sophisticated.
Maybe I shouldn't pair confidence and sophistication together. They're not always related. But it's my blog and I'm going write stuff however the heck I want. So there! (Sigh)
I've come to realize recently, as I struggle to find my own style and my own niche in the world, that I'm okay with who I am. I'm not sophisticated. I don't have the patience to spend hours on my hair and clothing choices. I wonder if my idea of sophistication is actually more in line with being... high-maintenanced. I can see that now. Perhaps, as I discover more about myself, I'll learn what true sophistication really is. An online dictionary says that sophistication is to be altered by education, experience, etc, so to be worldly wise. Or not naive.
Maybe my dorkiness makes me feel naive. Like I don't know what the world has in store for me.
After writing this post, I think I've come to a conclusion on my feelings of sophistication. I'm not sophisticated. I'm never going to be sophisticated. I think it's time for me to embrace my true nature and let it guide me through my life, instead of trying to be something that I'm not.
I'm going to stick with wearing my converse and my jeans and my lime-green fingernail polish. I don't need to be sophisticated and classy to be an adult. I am an adult. I'm a dorky, bookworm, romance-loving, adult!
Until next time,
The Hopeless Romantic.