Ten things...

The idea of a blog is really quite narcissistic. I mean it's pretty much you talking about... well you. Yeah, I know, you can talk about other things but when you get down to the core of it... it's all about talking about yourself and your life.

So that's what I decided to do. I thought it'd be interesting to give a few little known facts about myself. So here goes:

1. I'm afraid to ride in elevators alone. I have this fear that one day it's going to break down on me and I'll be trapped alone in an elevator. And being stuck in an elevator would probably make my claustrophobia flare up and I'd probably go insane. Alone in an elevator.

2. I have to shower everyday. If I don't shower I feel disgusting and gross and usually I'm pretty crabby. So I try to shower everyday.

3. I have issues with touching people. I don't feel comfortable with people touching me unless I'm really comfortable with them.

4. Scary movies and I are not friends. Because of my over-active imagination I can't watch scary movies because it'll be in my head for awhile. And then I'll probably dream about it and have nightmares. It happens a lot. So I avoid scary movies.

5. I'm deathly afraid of needles! I was thinking the other day how I could really be a nurse or a doctor if I weren't so afraid of the needle part. They just scare the crap out of me.

6. I'm also afraid of wasps/bees. I run when they come at me. It's so scary. I don't like them at all!

7. I love shoes. But if you look at me closet I don't have very many. I guess you could say that I have really good self control when it comes to buying shoes. And I like all kinds of shoes: sneakers, heels, all kinds of them.

8. I'm more comfortable in jeans and a tee shirt than anything. I'm a casual person so I like to dress casual.

9. I'm a very cautious person. I have never broken a bone and what little scars I have are small and very inconsequential. I watched my brothers (Josh specifically) getting into scrapes and I just didn't like the pain or the yuckiness of wounds.

10. I can read about romance. I can watch it on TV and in movies. But I cannot stand seeing public displays of affection in real life. It's positively vomitatious.

So there are just some little known facts about me. Well maybe you know more about them than I realize but I don't really care.

Just a little glimpse inside my head

Due to my recent re-obsession with Bones, more specifically FBI agent Seeley Booth, I've been craving to write myself a new story. A story with someone based (loosely) on Booth. So I decided to do it. My story in mind (and it actually is in mind because I have yet to sit down and write it) actually involves a Private Investigator (how does Spencer Ryan sound?) and his new assistant- whose name is yet to be determined. Anyway, so this story is from the assistant's first person point of view and how she deals with her (arrogant and demanding but totally awesome and kind) boss. The story line is going to (at least for now) mostly take place in the office and maybe even some stake outs (we'll see). Because I have the hardest time ever finishing one of my stories I'm hoping that if I get other people involved besides the two friends who usually help me that I'll have enough motivation to keep it going.

So, here is a little snippet of what I think would be a good prologue. Please don't hesitate to give your feedback. 

If someone had told me [x-amt of time] ago that I would one day find myself handcuffed to a bed with my boss I would've called them crazy. Well here I am. My right wrist handcuffed to the wrought iron headboard and my left handcuffed to my unconscious (extremely attractive) boss. How did I get myself into this mess?

So that's what how I want to open the story maybe with a little more of her thoughts or something. The next page would contain the flashback which would be the rest of the story up to the beginning. Does that make sense? Well I hope you enjoyed that brief (very brief) look into my head. I think I'll post some more stuff about this little project as I go along, just to keep myself motivated. 

The word of the day is FANTASTY. For example: Have a fantasty week! (Yes I did make that word up. Maybe I'll tell you about it sometime.)

That fine line...

I wonder where that fine line between interest and obsession is. No, I'm not talking about a guy. Although I sort of wish it was a guy. It'd make the position I'm in a little less pitiful. I've always had an avid imagination. From the time I played with Barbie dolls to this day when I express myself through my writing.

Unfortunately, television has a way of... well drawing me in and I forget sometimes. I forget that it's fiction. It's like when I read a book. I have to make myself understand that it's not real. Because TV contains "real" people it's easier to think that a show is indeed "real".

I've been a fan of Bones for a few years after my then roommate, Suzanne, introduced me to the show. Man, I was hooked pretty quick. I think I'm more into the show than she is. I just found the relationship between Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan to be so intense. And if you know me you know that I'm a sucker for a romantic angle. And for the sexual tension. Dang! That's why I've been watching the show all these years. It's one of the only shows that I keep up with these days.

I guess the reason for this post is because of my recent full cross over that previously mentioned line. I've always been a big fan but I'm pretty sure I'm now a FANATIC! And I'm pretty sure it has to do with the 100 episode that aired last Thursday.

It honestly has to be one of my all time favorites. It was both disappointing and so fulfilling at the same time, if that's even possible. Oh wait that's called "bittersweet-ness". Now I have to determine how much of a fanatic I am. Am I enough of one that I start writing dumb comments on how Booth and Bones still aren't together (when we all know that them getting together is going to change how great the show is in a bad way)? Or am I only slightly a fanatic that I still follow the show and only sometimes look at the extra stuff that is online?
Maybe I'll just have to keep you posted. And I'll have to deal with the razzing from my brothers. I can deal with it. As long as I still get my Bones fix everything will be alright.

I think... I just have to keep reminding myself that it isn't real. And that Special Agent Seeley Booth isn't real either. Dang it! I think I have problems with reality.

The girl in the blue jacket

I wear a jacket nine months out of the year. This is no exaggeration either. It's just a  fact of life. My poor blue jacket is worn and torn. Poor thing. I can't help it that underneath my coat I need a jacket. I don't know what my problem is. I get really cold easily. No matter the time of year. Even in the heat of summer, if the air conditioner is blowing straight on me, I get chilled. Maybe I'm just a freak.

But as the weather finally starts to warm up I can't help but chuckle at how weird I am. I will walk around campus and I see these people in shorts and tee shirts and flip flops. Compared to them I look like it's still winter. I just can't help it. I get cold far to easily to just shed the layers upon the first arrival of the sun and a warm day.

I guess I'll just be the jacket girl. The only time of year I don't wear a jacket is during the summer. June through August finds me finally shedding the jacket, although I do still wear long pants. But hey, one step at a time right? Maybe some day I'll be able to finally join the crowd and not wear a jacket.

But until then I'm gonna be the girl that wears a jacket nine months out of the year.

The Shootist

I finally finished my John Wayne Movie Marathon. I was hoping to finish in a week but do to the fact that A) I have a job and 7) I have school it took me a little longer. 

The final movie was "The Shootist". Which happens to be John Wayne's final movie as well. It's a bittersweet ending to such a dynamic man. It's really well done though (except for the bright red "blood" that immediately shows up when someone is shot). 

Watching JB Books come to terms with his impending death is very heartbreaking. And when Jimmy Stewarts character mentions going out with a bang (so he doesn't quite say it like that) you know JB Books is gonna come up with something to make his end a little less painful and sad. 

I enjoyed this movie even though it's depressing and you know it's John Wayne's last movie. It's certainly not my favorite but it's a good one. It exemplifies how to go out with your boots still on. (If that makes sense.) 

I am officially done with my marathon. And I've documented each movie as I've watched it. I don't think I've ever written so much on my blog before. Talk about a motivator.

On reality...

I have issues with reality. I find myself getting so caught up in stories... in TV shows and in books. It can't be healthy. It isn't healthy. Is it totally sad that I have to physically remind myself that it's not real. It's something that someone else made up. I can't seem to grasp this concept. Which is unfortunate. 

I was also thinking that... well I can accept other people's reality, but not my own. Look at me life- I'm so consumed in books and tv shows and movies. I don't really have a life. I don't really do reality. It's too messy and too many emotions get involved. 

Is this going to lead me to have a sad and lonely life where I spend my time talking to my feral cats and yelling at the game show hosts on TV? I certainly hope not. 

A good rule of thumb: Remember that reality is relative. (Does that make sense? I just thought it sounded deep so I went with it.)

Big Jake

I found "Big Jake" to be interesting. I love the combination of John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara. They just make a dynamic team. Unfortunately, they're only together for such a short time in the movie. That was sad. And the fact that his sons were so involved made it an even more interesting movie.

The story was interesting but I felt that some parts of it just weren't explained. And the ending was kind of abrupt. Maybe it's just me, but I felt like the story was left unfinished. What happened when Jake returned home with his grandson, Little Jake? How did the family react? What happened to Jake? Does he get to stay home now?

I liked the movie but I just didn't feel like the story completely evolved as well as I would have liked.

The last movie in my John Wayne Movie Marathon is "The Shootist."

I will not think of Darla. I will not think of Darla.

I'm a dreamer. Meaning I dream a lot. About the weirdest things. And about the most random people, even the people I don't want to dream about. The other day I woke up after a particularly... confusing and frustrating dream involving... someone who's appeared in my dreams a few times before.

As usual, I have a hard time keeping most of my dreams to myself. I told my friend Makae about this confusing dream and she, having heard about my other incidental dreams concerning this person, just shook her head and agreed with me about my demented-ness.(Well at least I think she did, we weren't actually in the same room at the time I told her.)

Well a few days later, Makae brings up my little dream episode and shared a very intriguing insight she stumbled upon. She told me that I probably had these dreams about this person (who is a guy, just so you're aware) because deep down in my subconscious I want him to want me. And of course the next thing in my head is "I want you to want me. I need you to need me." 

Could Makae be right though? Is it possible that, deep down, I really do want this person to want me? Is that the source of confusion that rushes through me every time I have a dream where this person makes an appearance? That I really just want him to want me? And if it's true... how do I get rid of it? In the daylight I don't want him but when the darkness falls... all heck just breaks loose in my subconscious. This can't be good.

Maybe I should just stop dreaming...

I don't like Tuesdays

I feel like too much is happening at one time. Maybe it's because I didn't get to sleep until just after two this morning. I was tired but I couldn't sleep. There are just so many things to consider with the semester coming to an end. Moving, money, vacation, work, final projects, registering for classes, and so on and so forth. It's not bad just it's just starting to rush at me like a speeding train and I'm chained to the tracks. (Did that even make sense?)

And to top it all off, my phone is doing weird things. I can receive text messages but I can't send them. So I have to do a reset to put it back on factory settings; thus losing contacts, pictures, ringtones, and my work schedule. I'm kind of afraid to do it. But I guess if I want to get back to texting people I'm just going to have to grit my teeth and have some faith. Maybe I should see if my phone is up for an upgrade?

Is it summer yet?

McLintock!

"McLintock!"(1963) is actually one of my favorite John Wayne movies. I think it's mostly because it's got the light-heartedness that I love. And it's got Maureen O'hara whom I also love. The fact that John Wayne's son, Patrick Wayne, plays in it is kind of cool too. 

Maureen O'hara and John Wayne make for an excellent pair. This isn't the first movie they're together; others include "Rio Grande" and "The Quiet Man" which is also very good. They just have a chemistry together that makes me just grin. "Half the people in the world are women; why does it have to be you that stirs me?" And G.W. just kisses the trash outta her! I thanks that's awesome.

I like the arrogance that exudes from G.W. McLintock as he deals with the issues that are rather suddenly thrown in his face from the arrival of his estranged wife and the Native American's who request his help. Also, John Wayne's super patriotic schpills through out the movie remind me of how much he loved what this country is supposed to stand for.

I really just love this movie. It's got romance, intrigue, humor, drama, and just plain awesomeness! And John Wayne's character isn't afraid to stand up for the underdog or just beat the crap outta people because they're stupid. "Somebody oughta belt you in the mouth! But I won't. I won't.... The hell I won't!" And WHAM! He punches the guy. So cool. 

One of my favorites for sure!

Next on the list is "Big Jake".

The Cowboys

It's been a long time since I've seen "The Cowboys" (1972). And all I can remember from it is the kid getting trampled and some kid with glasses. This is certainly not one of my all time favorite John Wayne movies. But he does an excellent job as Wil Anderson- a tough, old cowboy who has no one to help him get his herd to Belle Larauche (or whatever the town's name is).

It's a compelling story about kids who learn how to be men all because one man took a chance on them. I like it for that reason. 

I guess if you know me, you know that I'm more of light hearted kind of gal. I like the movies with a hint (or more) of romance and a cute story line. A little drama is okay and some action too. 

"The Cowboys" is a little too serious for me but I enjoyed it all the same. I really like how John Wayne starts to harden the boys and the boys start to soften him. It's sweet. But he tries to hide it all the same. Makes me wonder what happens when the cowboys make it home. 

Next in line: McLintock!

If you want a thing bad enough...

When you want a thing bad enough to go out and fight for it,

To work day and night for it,

To give up your peace and your sleep and your time for it;

If only the desire of it makes your aim strong enough never to tire of it;

If life seems all empty and useless without it,

And all that you dream and you scheme is about it;

If gladly you'll sweat for it, fret for it, plan for it,

Pray with all your strength for it;

If you'll simply go after the thing that you want with all your capacity,

Strength and sagacity; faith, hope, and confidence, stern pertinacity;

If neither poverty nor cold nor famish nor gaunt

Nor sickness or pain to body or brain can turn you away

From the aim that you want;

If dogged and grim, you besiege and beset it, you'll get it!

                    Author Unknown